Cover-to-Cover Project: I’m reading the Bible, starting from page one, on July 1st. Join me by commenting “I’m in!” in the comments, below!
I have read the Bible cover to cover once. I started a few months after I gave my life to Christ. It is no secret that there are parts in there that got really, really, really, REALLY boring.
Particularly, these are the parts where folks are begatting, people are being named or people are getting numbered. If you are a King James-Onlyist, things are made worse because you have to stay awake in those parts when they are written in Olde English, requiring you to stay focused at all times.
Then again, I just noticed the KJV rhyming:
1 Chronicles 1:49-50
And when Shaul was dead, Baalhanan the son of Achbor reigned in his stead.
50 And when Baalhanan was dead, Hadad reigned in his stead: and the name of his city was Pai; and his wife’s name was Mehetabel, the daughter of Matred, the daughter of Mezahab.
You could put a backbeat to that and start rapping. There are easy rhymes for Pai (high, cry, fly, sty) and Matred (hatred). Can’t think of anything that rhymes with Mezahab or Mehetabel, however. Might be a good lyric there for a future worship song (yadda yadda yadda was dead… and yadda yadda reigned in his stead!), but I’m digressing.
The point is that if the Bible was just a great work of fiction, why would there need to be this kind of “Census taking?” The historical record as detailed here in 1 Chronicles, in fact, starts with ADAM (take that, evolutionists – I think I just attacked, myself – oops).
1 Chronicles drones on and on for NINE FREAKIN’ CHAPTERS, until we finally get to some cool stuff (Saul takes his sword and falls on it when he has lost the fight, and the Philistines hang up his head in the temple of Dagon in 1 Chronicles 10 = THE AWESOME!).
Sure, it is nearly impossible to get through these parts… I’m not even sure that I qualify for “cover to cover” reading because I skimmed through these parts, for certain.
But, the extrinsic importance of these chapters cannot be diminished.
If the Bible was a book for fictional entertainment, and the stories in the Bible purely allegory for educational purposes, there would be no need for these portions… unless, history really mattered to these people and these itemized lists of people REALLY existed.
Maybe I’ll stay awake next time.
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